The period directly following a break up can be very challenging and difficult for both parties. It is common to miss your ex boyfriend of girlfriend considerably and feel like your future is lost. Friends and family offer no hope or comfort to you at this time because you do not want to hear what they have to say. All that you have to know is that you are not alone in your predicament and that there is help out there if you want it.

When you break up with someone it can be like a death in the family. It is a grieving process which you have to go through in order to heal and get back to normal. There are no easy answers, but it is very true that time does heal. There is a certain amount of time that you should give yourself to allow yourself to get better and this differs from person to person. It does not help when the people that you are around are always advising you to move on and that there is plenty more fish in the sea. These kinds of empty platitudes do not help anyone at all. In fact, they only serve to alienate you further from your friends because they fail to comprehend what you are going through. What you need is practical advice and tips that you can use to help yourself.

You would not hear a friend telling you to get over it or move on if a close family member died, would you? Break up is no different. Of course no one has died, but the feelings are very similar, the rawness in emotion over losing someone that you love is very real. It is a process that has to be dealt with in the right way in order for you to actually get better and enable you to cope.

Probably one of the first thoughts in your mind after a break up is disbelief and shock, especially if it came completely out of the blue. You will also be desperate to change things around and get your ex back again. This is a very common need in people post break up and also a very natural one. However, the desperation and pain that people experience after they have been dumped leads them to do things that they normally would not do if they were in a rational state of mind.

How attractive does this look to your ex?

When you think of a drug addict, desperate for drugs, no sense of self respect and solely preoccupied with getting their next fix, you will begin to realise how your ex may be viewing you at this time. I am not saying that you are acting exactly like a drug addict, addicted to contact your ex, but try to assess your behaviour and ask yourself if it is normal. Put yourself in the shoes of your ex and think of how you would view them if they seemed like they did not accept the break up and couldn’t let go.

How Does Your Ex See You Now?

In case you are wondering, the wrong things for you to do at this time would be to hassle your ex or consistently come up with pitiful excuses to speak to them. It will be very obvious to them if you start to do this and only make you look foolish in their eyes. Coincidentally bumping into them or hanging around where they work or live will also spell disaster for you. You do not want to appear crazy or pathetic in any way to them or they will definitely not want you back or be attracted to you at all. You must work on your self respect after break up to allow your ex to see you in a different light and reconsider their decision.

What Are The Tricks That Work?

If you think about when you first got together this will be a great starting point for you to try to get your ex back. What was it that they saw in you that attracted them in the first place? Can you remember what they said to you or why they thought you were so special? The trick is to compare yourself now to how you were then and figure out what went wrong and how things have changed. It is natural to get comfortable with someone and not put the same amount of effort into the relationship as we did at the start. The most important thing to note is that you have to make your ex see you in this way again, but they have to see it through actions and not words.

We all desire what we cannot have, or that which we have to work hard for. When we have to put effort into getting it we end up valuing it a lot more. It is the same with relationships. Have you ever heard of the term ‘playing hard to get?’. This concept is widely used, especially amongst women to pique a man’s interest and make the opposite realise that you are worth the wait or special. In the same way, you should not go crawling to your ex or seem weak, it may seem counter intuitive, but you must make them realise that you are a person of value and that you have a great deal of respect for yourself. If you are not aware of your inherent value as a human being, how will anyone else see it?

What Are The Other Strategies?

There are a plethora of effective tricks that will give you the upper hand in your attempt to get your ex back, so it is impossible to go into them all in this article. Basically, when you understand exactly how the opposite sex works and how they think post break up, you can drastically change your circumstances and reverse the break up easier than you think. You can learn how to understand body language and read into the things that your ex says that will show you that they are reconsidering their decision. When we become experts in the psychology of the opposite sex, especially when it comes to attraction, we can see huge results.

Want to find out more about how to get your ex back?, then visit our Love Is Hurt site on how to win back your ex successfully, even if it seems as though your situation is hopeless.

Leave a Reply